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This is a portion of an e-mail to my friend J.T. from June of this year. It was in response to some things that had been on his mind, and they somewhat corresponded to things that had been on mine.
I have often thought that some of my best writing is found in e-mails to close friends. I think I am correct.
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Some interesting thoughts in your “Current Thoughts” entry. They grace my mind often as well.
How do we become the men God intended?
How do we overcome our weaknesses and fortify our strengths?
How can we be good stewards of the abilities and relationships God has given us?
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I was just writing yesterday about how sick I am of living as something other than the man God intends me to be. Of being imperfect. Of messing up, and seeing the ones I love mess up. I yearn to be these same things as you, J.T. I yearn to have these questions answered. It’s not always easy, is it? But I suppose that’s why God wants us to depend on Him. We can’t do it alone.
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Saturday I spent the afternoon with one of my best friends in the world in Louisville. He and I connect and know each other so well we can get right to the depth of things in each other’s lives and often, a depth most others do not.
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Anyway, he and I were doing what we do, digging into deep conversation. As we were talking about my calling and desire to become an author, and about his life’s plans, to get me thinking he asked me this: “What is unique, truly unique about your life that would make someone want to read your autobiography?”
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Earlier that day I had been talking to God about passion. I am 21 years old. I have lived a third to a fourth of my life already, if God blesses me with that much life at all. And I sometimes feel that it has passed me by so quickly I did not even take the time to really enjoy it. And I started thinking, “How do we really, really live with PASSION?? How do we squeeze every OUNCE out of life and enjoy every moment and take in everything? How do we live with no regrets, with no fears, with no desires left unquenched (good desires, that is)?
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Unfortunately, very, very few ever truly live like this. We try. We enjoy some days more than others. Sometimes we notice the sunshine, and others we don’t. Sometimes we truly cherish the time we spend with someone we love, and others it comes and goes with hardly a thought.
Very, very few.
I questioned, with fear, if I had let this much of my life slip through my fingers without REALLY living it.
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And I thought over my experiences, my relationships, my past. The trips I have been on, the places I have seen, the people I have known.
And I answered, “I think that’s what I’m afraid of, Daniel. I think that I will have nothing to say. I think that there isn’t really anything SO unique in my life that someone would want to read my autobiography if they didn’t already know and care about me.”
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Because this is how it goes. I’ve done lots of things. I run the website for CSF, by george! And does that matter?!
No. No it doesn’t.
But, but I’ve been to Ghana. I spent a month there! I went on trips in high school, I helped people. I cared for others.
How many others at my age have already been to Ghana?
Dust to dust.
And this is what I think I’m slowly figuring out, J.T:
It isn’t what you do. It’s how you live.
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So how do we live with passion? How does our love for Christ (which reflects to become love for others) become so great as to turn heads? Not for our own attention’s sake, of course; just a figure of speech.
How do we live life to the fullest?
We know the guy who promised it to us. So how do we get it, and hold onto it?
What is truly unique about your life that would make a stranger pick your autobiography off a shelf and read it?
How do we live with passion?