I Confess I Took The Pickles

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I confess I took the pickles from the fridge and they were delicious but I knew that it would upset you so I bought some more and put them back like they had never been gone but then a mouse got in somehow and ate them all again so it looked like I had eaten them and I did not know what to do so I hid under a blanket beside the couch and found a piece of lint that reminded me of Abraham Lincoln and for some reason that made me think of Mentos gum so i stopped hiding and went and bought some at the Speedway gas station down the street and once I got there I saw that 7UP was on sale but I didn’t have have any money left after the Mentos so I just stole it and I thought I was getting away with it but then I didn’t and the policeman named Officer Smorley put me in prison with a guy in an orange jumpsuit named Rickie who got me depressed because he told me they had the best artificial potatoes in the world at the cafeteria but it was Tuesday and they only served the potatoes on Tuesday for lunch and it was already four in the afternoon so I would have to wait but I didn’t want to wait so I found a rock in the corner that kind of looked like a potatoe and I was really hungry because they didn’t let me have the Mentos cause they thought I stole them with the 7UP so I tried to take a bite out of the rock but you can’t eat rocks and it broke one of my teeth in half and I screamed and that scared Rickie and made him wet his orange jumpsuit so the guard had to come get him a clean one and he saw me eating the rock and thought I was in the wrong place so he put me in solitary confinement and it was dark dark dark and then I got out and they felt sorry for the crazy guy who had eaten the rock like a potatoe so they sent me home with a fluffy bunny doll and I named him George and I went into the kitchen to find some food for him to eat and it was difficult since bunnies only eat certain things and I found the pickles in the fridge and they are green like grass and I confess I took the pickles from the fridge.

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7 Responses to I Confess I Took The Pickles

  1. Meredith says:


  2. Sarah says:

    I knew you took those pickles…

  3. Steve says:

    DUDE! That exact same thing happened to me!! How weird.

  4. Tyler Abell says:

    iono but i read all of this

  5. Courtney V says:

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    I don’t know why but once I started reading this I couldn’t stop. Maybe because I was waiting for a period and there wasn’t one until the end. Either way, it was brilliant and should be made into a song or at least a music video!

  6. Drew says:

    I ate those pickles Liger! Arrrrh.

    I am the pickle monster!

  7. Nicole says:

    That must be the worlds LONGEST run on sentence!!!

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