Category Archives: Parenthood

“Just Enjoy This”

November 6, 2013

starwarskid

Early this morning I was sitting in a chair, holding my two-month-old son and trying to rock him back to sleep. It had been a long night and I felt as though I had no energy left to give. As I sat there I reached into my pocket for my phone, as I so often do when I’m holding him, to play a game or check email or whatever.

My fingertips just touched my phone and then God whispered, “Just enjoy this.”

“Just enjoy this.”

He won’t always want to be held. He won’t always be so small. He’ll grow and he’ll wander and he’ll run all around. He won’t always want to sit on Daddy’s lap. So just enjoy this.

I held my boy and thanked God for the blessing he is, thanked Him for allowing me to be his father. I asked that God would protect him and watch him as he grows, that He would hold my son when I couldn’t, that He would bless him and guide him.

I feel so deeply grateful that I get to be his dad. So grateful. He’s never done a thing for me, yet I cannot contain the vast love I feel for the little guy.

How much more must God love us?

Photo by Kristina Alexanderson. Used under Creative Commons License.

On Provision – Thoughts Before Parenthood

August 12, 2013

diapers

Soon after Sarah and I finished Isaac’s nursery, I sat on the floor of the room for a few minutes, looking around at everything we had put together. The dresser was full of clothes, the cabinet full of toys, the closet full of diapers. The walls were painted and decorated – every detail given careful attention. Everything we would need for the first several months of his life we had ready, prepared, collected. He would lack for nothing. He would have everything he needed, and more.

And he wasn’t even here yet.

As I sat there thinking on everything we had already done for this son we had not yet met, something occurred to me. We don’t know what he will be like, the color of his hair or the shade of his skin. We won’t for a while enjoy the sound of his voice or the delight of his laugh. Yet as loving parents we already have a room prepared just for him, and so many possessions that will be his – long before he is even capable of claiming ownership of them.

How much more does God, our good Father, always provide for our every need?

Before you were born He knew the life you would lead, the family you’d be part of, the friends you would meet along the way. He had a place in this world prepared just for you, and He watched in exultation as you found your way into it. If we truly understood the reaches of God’s provision for us, we would never worry, never fear, never question His capability.

Yesterday, God had provisions for your tomorrow. A year ago He was waiting to give you the things you need today. This very moment, He prepares to answer your most desperate requests.

He is so good to us, and He always provides for our needs.

If you know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good things to those who ask Him! – Matthew 7:11

So do not worry about your life! – Matthew 6:25

Related Posts:
“My Life is Over” – Thoughts Before Parenthood

Photo by Allan Foster. Used under Creative Commons License.

“My Life Is Over” – Thoughts Before Parenthood

August 5, 2013

sunset

“I feel like my life is over.”

I said this as Sarah sat on the bed next to me this past Saturday evening. I laid there feeling as though nothing in the world could make me happy, wanting to go to sleep – to get on with another day – yet not wanting this one to end, because then it would be gone.

I’m a fairly level-headed, laid-back person, but I had a bit of a breakdown, which is unusual. Sarah and I’s first child will be born any day now, and we’re very excited. I’ve been looking forward to being a father for a while. I’m excited to raise children and enter that stage of life. Hear me right – I’m thrilled about having kids. I’m ready to be a dad.

However, for the past few months I have become increasingly . . . anxious, is the only word I can think of. Not nervous about having kids, just more aware of the major change that’s about to take place. I’ve been analyzing my life and all the things I have and (mostly) have not accomplished. I worry that once we have a kid to take care of, the smaller amount of free time will strangle and kill any hope of fulfilling my life’s dreams. I worry that Sarah and I won’t have time to spend together, to be romantic, to enjoy each other’s company. In many ways, I feel like my life is about to end.

As I’ve been more aware of what I’m doing with my life, I’ve become hyper-protective of our free time, not wanting it to get eaten up by endless activities and tasks. So, Saturday evening came, and we had spent a good portion of the day getting things done around the house. We had a few hours left in the day, and finally, I thought, we’d have some time to sit down and relax, to spend some time together. Then something came up that we had to take care of – another task, a chore – and the rest of our evening was swept away before we realized it.

As we sat there and I explained how I felt to Sarah, it all sounded so silly, spoken out loud. I am excited about this new chapter of life, but I think it’s the unknown factor that makes it overwhelming. All I know is my life up to this point. I know that I’ll still have free time with kids. I know that in a way, my life is only just beginning. I know in my head that the joy they bring will trump all these things I’m thinking, but experience is what brings understanding.

I hesitated to post this at first, because I don’t want anyone to get the wrong idea and think I don’t want kids or something. I decided to post it because I know I’m not the only new parent who’s found himself suddenly struggling with similar thoughts. I know it’s normal, and in my better moments, I know I have nothing to worry about.

I look forward to coming back and reading this a month from now, when my world is completely different, my perspective much greater, my purpose more defined.

I look forward to reading whatever it is I write once he’s here.

I can’t wait to meet him.

Related posts:
On Provision – Thoughts Before Parenthood